look spike

this is my punishment for hurting people in my past
now im the one whos the convience

"jen, come pick us up at blah time!",
instead of the respectable, "jen, could you come pick us up at blah time?"
i mean damn, is that too much to ask for,
must be.

and people, stop griping to me about your boyfriend/girlfriends
AT LEAST YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO GRIPE ABOUT!

now i am trying to be the good friend that i can be, but i can only be pushed so far.
i might look happy on the outside, or put on a face pretending to be something that i am not, but you know what, fuck all you people who don't give anything back.

so heres my piece to those people who are pissing me off
Holli: why don't you look at what you have instead of what you don't have. you have a fucking perfect life, everybody loves you and you know it, but you are deliberately refusing to accept it. You have a wonderful boyfriend, who many people would give anything to have, yet you abuse the love that he gives to you. That, i don't understand. I love you holli, you know that, but realize im not a convenience. So don't make me one.

Charlotte: Im doing what i can to be your friend again. You accused me of not giving enough to you at the beginning of the summer, and that i became a person who you didn't know. Well, know im trying and getting nothing back. So next time you "feel" like talking to me, maybe i won't be there or im just too busy to return your phone calls. Now this on your shoulders.

I apologize if i piss anyone off, but i can't give more than i have and right now im starting to reach my limit.

Wanna know something personal, im lonely, tired, constantly busy and i don't have much time for my friends, yet my "friends" never have time for me anymore and i want what i had 4ish months ago and i just might have to wait another fucking 18 years to have anything like that again. And that hurts more than anything anyone can do to me ever!

know what sucks,
getting a cold, and then trying to sing
not only does it hurt the throat, but its actually
funny to listen too

but enought about me, wait this whole thing
is about me....hmmm....the possibilities, na, too lazy

well, anyway, gonna hit the ol' sacker and then get up and work
sat. sun.and mon., aren't times great,

i just hope this cold goes away soon!

so last night was great!
i met the coolest bands and hung out with them
and even got one of the lead singers to give me his shirt
muwhahahahhaha
im the shit!
anyways, got homework to do,
talk to all you losers lates.

so just a long tiring day,
not much really happened, went to class,
i hit a really high note in chorus today, a B.
very proud of that!
umm, hung out with holli, and now im just
waiting for someone to call me,

so other than that,
my days been pretty damn ordinary
now i have to draw tomorrow, for 4 hours,
and i don't know how to draw. at all, so this
should be interesting.

correction from last post
last line should read

he has ever experienced

if one thing in my life is true
ive had one love
and though hes gone and
im living my seperate life
the things he says or do still
makes me worry about him
or hurts me,
though its intentional or not
it can.

i wish him the best in his new chapter
and may that chapter blossom with a greater
love he has never experienced

so rock the mike was tons of fun,
and i had a great time.

work is a bitch, but hey
i finally got all my classes for wake tech.
and im taking such easy classes, i think at least.

so im off to take a nap or something, not sure what
then back to work at 6:30, i hate thursdays.

so today was great!
i worked some,
picked up holli and hung out w/ her while she got her hair cut,
then,
i went and got another tattoo
its so cute!

its cherries, and youll have to ask where i put it

well, gotta go to work, ttyl

so last night was a blast
i got a little tipsy
and totally hit on by a major band hottie
charlotte youll love this
HES A DRUMMER!

so hot
and yeah
i ended up calling my dad at 3 in the morning
going i can't come home cause i can't drive
hhaa
it was funny

so anyway, gotta go work somemore

love my avida
love my pooh

tis an early morning here in the cornell household
damn it
ihad work all day
and night
and then doing it again on thursday

but hey, i get my hair cut on sat.
so what there to complain about

ttyl

so...
my last few days have been great
work has been amazingly easy, what a change
and cliff diving has been great! better than great!
what a rush!
and im still working on having something with
that one special guy
*you know who you are*
and i am just so happy!

i love my little greedy buddy!

thats it, more lates

August 4th, i think

so this weekend was great
i had so much fun at daniels, holli-cadbury cut the lights!
hahahhah
i went cliff diving sat. sun. and hopefully today
well see
and i hung out with my new favorite people, troy, david, miles, kirsten
well, gotta go pick holli up from school
talk to everyone lates.